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A Random Vegas Observation

I like walking the strip in Vegas at night, it makes for great entertainment.  I just love watching everything going on.  I’m not into gambling, so I just walk around and take pictures of the bright lights.  One of the seedier parts of the Vegas Strip Life are the “Porn Slappers”.  If you have never been to Las Vegas, Porn Slappers are people who stand on the sidewalk and hand out “business cards” for “contractors in the adult service industry”.  Prostitution is illegal in Clark County, this is one of the ways that they advertise their services.

They are not allowed to come up to you and harass you (that right is reserved for Crossgates Kiosk employees), so they need to do something to get you attention.  They slap the cards in their hand to get your attention.  Thus, the “Porn Slapper” name.  The more likely they think you would be interested, the more slaps you hear.  Welcome to Las Vegas!

The streets are just littered with cards with pictures of half-naked women, sporting what appears to be non-factory equipment. I’ve been to Las Vegas for work a few times, but it’s not a place I would bring my kids to see.  I don’t want to have to explain to an 8 year old what an “escort” is.

While I have never seen anyone take one of the cards, they must be effective.  The Porn Slappers are all over the strip.  While I tune them out as background noise, I have seen quite a few people take offense to them.  They are harmless, but it’s not what you expect to see back home.

I was walking down by Planet Hollywood and I found myself instep with a retired couple from Milwaukee.  They were on vacation and this was their first trip to Vegas.  They were a little unnerved by the Porn Slappers, so I decided to help them out a bit  We chatted a bit and I explained what the Porn Slappers were. I told them that I usually say gibberish to the Porn Slappers, it confuses them and throws them off their game a bit.

So we walked one, and whenever a Porn Slapper came close, I would go into “Denny Crane” mode.  I would just say random things like:

  • I’m looking for a one-armed man
  • Are you my mummy?
  • Denny Crane, Denny Crane
  • Tippecanoe and Tyler too
  • Vote for me and shoes for all
  • Member, FDIC

Pretty much just random sayings, whatever floated out the archives. And the Porn Slappers would just back away from us.  Mr and Mrs Milwaukee were greatly entertained and I had a chuckle or too.  Cheap fun on the strip.